Card Caddie Giveaway

I have entered to win 2 Card Caddies over at www.partyplancoach.com and you can too! Contest ends tonight and 3 lucky winners will win 2 Card Caddies each to help advertise their business! Im really hoping to win...this will be a GREAT tool for me while we're on the go! With several different colors to choose from you cant go wrong! I will personally be choosing pink and black :)

And best of all, even if you dont win these little advertising jewels are less than $15! I dont know about you but that's probably going to be the BEST $15 you invest into advertising!

Park 1- Magic Kingdom

This is the first park we will be visiting during our trip. So, if you have any tips,tricks,fun facts,trivia ect about the Magic Kingdom shout it out! I'll update and edit as I find things as well. But for now its off to register Princess for "school" :)

24 links on the countdown chain...

I totally revised the "Beer Bottle" song to fit our countdown chain lol I even posted it as my FB status lol My hubby thinks that it'll get annoying pretty fast, oh well!

I came across a review for the new Harry Potter world in Islands of Adventure and lets just say that if I had my choice we would've left already! I'm ready to be care-free and act goofy :) I'm ready to see Disney through my daughters'....the innocence and magic of everything opening up their minds to dream. I want to get swept away by it all too!

Living day to day with Zach's death and now Tinks illness..life gets hard! It takes a toll on this momma's heart. So the sooner we can head to the magical place the better...for all of us!  But since we do have to wait :( lets make it fun! Maybe feature a park a day? All the random facts one can find via swagbucks, tips and tricks to make the most out of your time. Sounds fun!, right?...right!

So tomorrow I will start it off with a chosen park and we'll just keep adding to it. Dont be afraid to add your own tips or tricks via comments so that in the end we have a wonderful mix of facts,trivia,tips and tricks. Who knows maybe you'll tell me about something to do or check out and I will while in the parks and use it in my reviews!

Its been awhile..

Life is one big ball of chaos lol But I plan to get back to blogging asap! So heres a short update on all of us

Tinkerbell started getting sick a few months ago...several options were thrown on the table and several tests were ordered. We are still waiting on the results (next week) but right now we have some nasty possibilities hanging over us...just praying, thats all we can do! On a more positive note, she started school today...she goes to a full-time preschool and LOVES it! She gets to ride the big bus to and from school...this program has been a blesing for her :)

Princess is growing up so fast. She is so different from Tink...its crazy! She starts going to "school" twice a week for 4 hours a day next week! I know shes going to love it :) I will be kidless twice a week! :O

As for me, after Tinks situation started getting more serious and the Drs office and hospital became a fequent stop for us I knew I needed to find a job that would be flexible and bring in good money. Impossible right? But its not...I did a lot of research and soul searching and decided to sign up with Mary Kay. Let me just say...BEST decision ever!!! Not only has it helped with medical bills and medications but the change thats taken place on me is breathtaking! I'm becoming more confident in myself, my skin looks and feels amazing and I'm teaching my girls some valuable life lessons!

Other than that we are in our countdown to Disney!!! I cant believe its almost time to go! Our condos are reserved, we have lunch reservations at T-Rex in Downtown Disney and our days planned out for the parks. We made a Disney Countdown Chain for Tinkerbell and each night she pulls 1 link off the chain, it helps her visualize the days left and she LOVES it!

I must say it helps me too! LOL I swear I'm like a kid all over again :)

24 days till my next 5K

I did my first ever 5K walk/run just a few weeks ago. I had a good time. When I first signed up I had no intention's of taking the girls with me, well of course that was the Saturday hubby had to work so I had to haul both girls and the double stroller with me. I finished in just over an hour...not bad with both of them and the heavy ass stroller lol Plus Tink hasn't been feeling good (a post for another time) and started getting sick at the very end.

So I've taken the plunge and decided to do another one...this time I will be kid-free! :) This 5K helps raise money for something near and dear to my heart, The Ronald McDonald House. My plan is to blog my progress from here on out and at the end I will post before and after pictures and :gulp: weight. So wish me luck and lots of motivation! lol

What: Firecracker 5K for RMH 

When: July 3rd 2010

Distance: 3.2 miles

Goals: do it under an hour, lose 5 lbs, walk at least 4 times a week and get on Wii Fit everyday, cut back on food intake and up my water.

My Mask

We all have a morning routine. I have had one for as long as I can remember. It was boring and habitual. Get up, go to bathroom, eat breakfast and get ready for the day. Day in and day out, 365 days a year. It gets to the point you just don't realize your doing it over and over sometimes...

My morning routine was severely altered Dec 2007....it'll never be the same again. Every day its new. I don't know what will happen until it happens. Most days its almost like my old routine: wake up, acknowledge that my son is dead, go to the bathroom, eat breakfast, get ready for the day and look at myself in the mirror and paint on my "happy,normal" mask. Yes folks, the person you see before you is NOT me. Pull that mask away and its not pretty. In fact it's so horrid that society has forced me to wear this mask. The raw,unbeauty of my life is too much for most people. Makes them uncomfortable or uneasy. But what about me?

Some morning's my grief hits me so hard my breath is taken away, other morning's its so bad all I want to do is sleep. The morning's that I wake up startled and look around thinking maybe it was all a horrible nightmare are pure hell. I lay there a sobbing mess as I replay the night prior and the day of his death. I can still feel what may very well be his last kick of life...I can still see that beautiful profile, laying there just so still and peaceful. Why is it that my pain means nothing to people? Why is it that talking about my son makes people uncomfortable? I can be around one of the most important person's in my life and the minute I talk about him the air turns cold and tense. All I want is to talk...I don't want to feel like I'm some freak of nature. I want comforting words. I want this indescribable pain to go away....I just want my son back! I'm drowning in my grief and because this is so taboo in our society no one wants to reach in and help. Do you fear I may pull you under?

How can I make him real to everyone? How do you explain to someone that you have everything you want and are so incomplete at the same time? Do you know how heavy this mask is? Sometimes it slips and you get to see a little sliver of that unbeauty....but don't worry someone quickly comes and fixes that mask and just as you might start wanting to question what you see it's gone.

I guess no one got the memo that its ok to still be grieving my unborn son almost 2 1/2 years later...that it was perfectly acceptable to still feel that pain and longing....cause it wasn't long after his death that I was forced to wear this mask, only to slip it off in the darkest of night. Where no one would be around to see all the frightening things that lay behind it.

So next time you see me, remember that smile is painted on. All the unbeauty is tucked underneath a very heavy mask, safe so that no one becomes uncomfortable or uneasy around me.

I have a son. His name is Zachary-Bryan Francis. He was real. He could have cured cancer, saved life's, became the president or he could have grown up and had a family of his own. But on December 5th 2007 ALL of that was taken away. Just because he didn't take a breath outside of my womb or grace this earth with his perfect body doesn't make him any less real.

It might be hard to swallow but choke it down....I have to every.single.day.

"Getting to know you...getting to know all about you"

Do you have that song stuck in your head now? lol Yea...me too!



I figured for those who might come here and read this blog who aren't family or friends might like to know a little about me....so here it goes



I was born in December 1985 to a single mom. I don't know my father, he knows nothing of me and I like to refer to him as 'sperm donor'. I struggle with wanting to look for him and being completely happy how it is. Its an on-going battle that's best left to its own post...later.

My mom was still young (20/21) and loved the party life so I grew up with my grandparent's. It wasn't until I was 6 or 7 that she finally was at a point in her life to really raise me and I moved in with her. Don't get the wrong idea though, she was around all the time, she just knew she wasn't ready to raise me the right way. I thank her for this everyday.



When I was a year old I got really sick, really fast. By the time I was taken in and they did a spinal tap I didn't move. Never a good sign. I had contracted spinal meningitis. After a few scary days and another couple weeks in the hospital I was healthy enough to go home. Childhood was pretty normal for me. Nothing big or exciting to report.



I met my husband when I was 17 in an online chatroom...yea I know, I know...big scary internet freaks, but I got lucky :) He was stationed at Camp Lejeune and had just recently returned from his deployment in Japan. We hit it off and talked for hours on the phone. Lets just say that those cell phone bills weren't pretty! lol During my spring break from school I traveled up to NC to finally meet him, face to face. At the end of the week he asked me to marry him and obviously I said Yes! A month later he came to FL and we were married :) I still had a few weeks left in school so I stayed while he went back and set up everything for me to move up there, during this time I found out I was expecting. Two days after graduation we loaded up the rental truck and headed east :) After getting settled in and what not my mommy packed her bags and left me to my new life, in a new town. It was not an easy day for her :(

We spent our 1st year of marriage struggling with infertility and multiple miscarriages. It was not an easy first year but we worked through it and here we are today, getting ready to celebrate 6 years. I'd like to say that our infertility and loss stories ended with the birth of our first daughter but that wouldn't be life...

My name is Hope, I'm a lover,giver,taker,sinner,listener,friend,secret keeper,daughter,sister,
wife, but most of all I am a mother. Though you may not see all my angels know that they are there.