Wednesday, March 10, 2010

"Getting to know you...getting to know all about you"

Do you have that song stuck in your head now? lol too!

I figured for those who might come here and read this blog who aren't family or friends might like to know a little about here it goes

I was born in December 1985 to a single mom. I don't know my father, he knows nothing of me and I like to refer to him as 'sperm donor'. I struggle with wanting to look for him and being completely happy how it is. Its an on-going battle that's best left to its own post...later.

My mom was still young (20/21) and loved the party life so I grew up with my grandparent's. It wasn't until I was 6 or 7 that she finally was at a point in her life to really raise me and I moved in with her. Don't get the wrong idea though, she was around all the time, she just knew she wasn't ready to raise me the right way. I thank her for this everyday.

When I was a year old I got really sick, really fast. By the time I was taken in and they did a spinal tap I didn't move. Never a good sign. I had contracted spinal meningitis. After a few scary days and another couple weeks in the hospital I was healthy enough to go home. Childhood was pretty normal for me. Nothing big or exciting to report.

I met my husband when I was 17 in an online chatroom...yea I know, I know...big scary internet freaks, but I got lucky :) He was stationed at Camp Lejeune and had just recently returned from his deployment in Japan. We hit it off and talked for hours on the phone. Lets just say that those cell phone bills weren't pretty! lol During my spring break from school I traveled up to NC to finally meet him, face to face. At the end of the week he asked me to marry him and obviously I said Yes! A month later he came to FL and we were married :) I still had a few weeks left in school so I stayed while he went back and set up everything for me to move up there, during this time I found out I was expecting. Two days after graduation we loaded up the rental truck and headed east :) After getting settled in and what not my mommy packed her bags and left me to my new life, in a new town. It was not an easy day for her :(

We spent our 1st year of marriage struggling with infertility and multiple miscarriages. It was not an easy first year but we worked through it and here we are today, getting ready to celebrate 6 years. I'd like to say that our infertility and loss stories ended with the birth of our first daughter but that wouldn't be life...

My name is Hope, I'm a lover,giver,taker,sinner,listener,friend,secret keeper,daughter,sister,
wife, but most of all I am a mother. Though you may not see all my angels know that they are there.

Starting Fresh

After suffering from at least 1 ear infection a month since Sept. princess is seeing a ENT tomorrow and hopefully having tubes put in shortly after. These past few months have been very hectic and stressful. Here's a little run down and maybe you'll understand why I took a mini break

October of last year our ped. talked to us about pediatric adhd for tink. I had done very minimal looking into as everywhere I looked said that they had to be school-aged to be diagnosed. I figured it was something that would have to wait. Thankfully our ped. specializes in pediatric adhd and was a light at the end of our dark tunnel with tink's behavior. We gathered all of the information from him, took it home and read it and decided to just track her behavior at home and pray. At the end of January I took her back in and said I wanted to continue on with the adhd evaluation, we talked and asked questions and left the office with several forms for everyone to fill out, including her teacher's at pre-school. Two weeks later we got the official diagnosis and started her on some meds at very low doses. Here we are about a month later and OMG! My child can actually sit and read or play with her toys. She can focus at pre-school and we have heard her talk more and more. Now...she is 3, almost 4, so life is still tough with her but at least I'm just dealing with normal toddler stuff instead of normal toddler stuff AND uncontrolled impulses. It was a hard decision and one that did not come without negative thoughts from other people. But in the end it was the best decision for her and those who think I'm drugging my child just for my sake obviously weren't around pre-diagnosis. Now all while that was going on we also were in the midst of being evaluated for speech and language programs through the school board. Thankfully we are at the end of our journey and go next week for her final evaluation that will place her in the programs she needs. Just as we were pushing things off our plate and saying 'Thanks, we're stuffed' life scooped up another helping and said 'Here ya go!' Palms meet head and scream! Now it seems as if tink will be having a MRI within the next month or so for a possible closed NTD. Now its something that has to be just stinks that she has to be sedated. She is not a fan of having things on her face and does NOT do well with stranger's :/

I know that this too shall pass....just like any other tough season in my life and I'm thankful that I have my 2 little girls to keep me on my toes. It feels to good to "write" it out. Some days just seems like a blur and I wake up the next day and think 'did that really happen?'
On happier notes the weather is starting to warm up and that means Spring is right around the corner! In fact I've been told that today shorts,a tank top and flip flops are passable :) Oh how I can't wait to be out of this house and do things. But for now its back to spring cleaning....we've got a birthday party and in-laws coming for a visit next month!