Card Caddie Giveaway

I have entered to win 2 Card Caddies over at www.partyplancoach.com and you can too! Contest ends tonight and 3 lucky winners will win 2 Card Caddies each to help advertise their business! Im really hoping to win...this will be a GREAT tool for me while we're on the go! With several different colors to choose from you cant go wrong! I will personally be choosing pink and black :)

And best of all, even if you dont win these little advertising jewels are less than $15! I dont know about you but that's probably going to be the BEST $15 you invest into advertising!

Park 1- Magic Kingdom

This is the first park we will be visiting during our trip. So, if you have any tips,tricks,fun facts,trivia ect about the Magic Kingdom shout it out! I'll update and edit as I find things as well. But for now its off to register Princess for "school" :)

24 links on the countdown chain...

I totally revised the "Beer Bottle" song to fit our countdown chain lol I even posted it as my FB status lol My hubby thinks that it'll get annoying pretty fast, oh well!

I came across a review for the new Harry Potter world in Islands of Adventure and lets just say that if I had my choice we would've left already! I'm ready to be care-free and act goofy :) I'm ready to see Disney through my daughters'....the innocence and magic of everything opening up their minds to dream. I want to get swept away by it all too!

Living day to day with Zach's death and now Tinks illness..life gets hard! It takes a toll on this momma's heart. So the sooner we can head to the magical place the better...for all of us!  But since we do have to wait :( lets make it fun! Maybe feature a park a day? All the random facts one can find via swagbucks, tips and tricks to make the most out of your time. Sounds fun!, right?...right!

So tomorrow I will start it off with a chosen park and we'll just keep adding to it. Dont be afraid to add your own tips or tricks via comments so that in the end we have a wonderful mix of facts,trivia,tips and tricks. Who knows maybe you'll tell me about something to do or check out and I will while in the parks and use it in my reviews!

Its been awhile..

Life is one big ball of chaos lol But I plan to get back to blogging asap! So heres a short update on all of us

Tinkerbell started getting sick a few months ago...several options were thrown on the table and several tests were ordered. We are still waiting on the results (next week) but right now we have some nasty possibilities hanging over us...just praying, thats all we can do! On a more positive note, she started school today...she goes to a full-time preschool and LOVES it! She gets to ride the big bus to and from school...this program has been a blesing for her :)

Princess is growing up so fast. She is so different from Tink...its crazy! She starts going to "school" twice a week for 4 hours a day next week! I know shes going to love it :) I will be kidless twice a week! :O

As for me, after Tinks situation started getting more serious and the Drs office and hospital became a fequent stop for us I knew I needed to find a job that would be flexible and bring in good money. Impossible right? But its not...I did a lot of research and soul searching and decided to sign up with Mary Kay. Let me just say...BEST decision ever!!! Not only has it helped with medical bills and medications but the change thats taken place on me is breathtaking! I'm becoming more confident in myself, my skin looks and feels amazing and I'm teaching my girls some valuable life lessons!

Other than that we are in our countdown to Disney!!! I cant believe its almost time to go! Our condos are reserved, we have lunch reservations at T-Rex in Downtown Disney and our days planned out for the parks. We made a Disney Countdown Chain for Tinkerbell and each night she pulls 1 link off the chain, it helps her visualize the days left and she LOVES it!

I must say it helps me too! LOL I swear I'm like a kid all over again :)

24 days till my next 5K

I did my first ever 5K walk/run just a few weeks ago. I had a good time. When I first signed up I had no intention's of taking the girls with me, well of course that was the Saturday hubby had to work so I had to haul both girls and the double stroller with me. I finished in just over an hour...not bad with both of them and the heavy ass stroller lol Plus Tink hasn't been feeling good (a post for another time) and started getting sick at the very end.

So I've taken the plunge and decided to do another one...this time I will be kid-free! :) This 5K helps raise money for something near and dear to my heart, The Ronald McDonald House. My plan is to blog my progress from here on out and at the end I will post before and after pictures and :gulp: weight. So wish me luck and lots of motivation! lol

What: Firecracker 5K for RMH 

When: July 3rd 2010

Distance: 3.2 miles

Goals: do it under an hour, lose 5 lbs, walk at least 4 times a week and get on Wii Fit everyday, cut back on food intake and up my water.

My Mask

We all have a morning routine. I have had one for as long as I can remember. It was boring and habitual. Get up, go to bathroom, eat breakfast and get ready for the day. Day in and day out, 365 days a year. It gets to the point you just don't realize your doing it over and over sometimes...

My morning routine was severely altered Dec 2007....it'll never be the same again. Every day its new. I don't know what will happen until it happens. Most days its almost like my old routine: wake up, acknowledge that my son is dead, go to the bathroom, eat breakfast, get ready for the day and look at myself in the mirror and paint on my "happy,normal" mask. Yes folks, the person you see before you is NOT me. Pull that mask away and its not pretty. In fact it's so horrid that society has forced me to wear this mask. The raw,unbeauty of my life is too much for most people. Makes them uncomfortable or uneasy. But what about me?

Some morning's my grief hits me so hard my breath is taken away, other morning's its so bad all I want to do is sleep. The morning's that I wake up startled and look around thinking maybe it was all a horrible nightmare are pure hell. I lay there a sobbing mess as I replay the night prior and the day of his death. I can still feel what may very well be his last kick of life...I can still see that beautiful profile, laying there just so still and peaceful. Why is it that my pain means nothing to people? Why is it that talking about my son makes people uncomfortable? I can be around one of the most important person's in my life and the minute I talk about him the air turns cold and tense. All I want is to talk...I don't want to feel like I'm some freak of nature. I want comforting words. I want this indescribable pain to go away....I just want my son back! I'm drowning in my grief and because this is so taboo in our society no one wants to reach in and help. Do you fear I may pull you under?

How can I make him real to everyone? How do you explain to someone that you have everything you want and are so incomplete at the same time? Do you know how heavy this mask is? Sometimes it slips and you get to see a little sliver of that unbeauty....but don't worry someone quickly comes and fixes that mask and just as you might start wanting to question what you see it's gone.

I guess no one got the memo that its ok to still be grieving my unborn son almost 2 1/2 years later...that it was perfectly acceptable to still feel that pain and longing....cause it wasn't long after his death that I was forced to wear this mask, only to slip it off in the darkest of night. Where no one would be around to see all the frightening things that lay behind it.

So next time you see me, remember that smile is painted on. All the unbeauty is tucked underneath a very heavy mask, safe so that no one becomes uncomfortable or uneasy around me.

I have a son. His name is Zachary-Bryan Francis. He was real. He could have cured cancer, saved life's, became the president or he could have grown up and had a family of his own. But on December 5th 2007 ALL of that was taken away. Just because he didn't take a breath outside of my womb or grace this earth with his perfect body doesn't make him any less real.

It might be hard to swallow but choke it down....I have to every.single.day.

"Getting to know you...getting to know all about you"

Do you have that song stuck in your head now? lol Yea...me too!



I figured for those who might come here and read this blog who aren't family or friends might like to know a little about me....so here it goes



I was born in December 1985 to a single mom. I don't know my father, he knows nothing of me and I like to refer to him as 'sperm donor'. I struggle with wanting to look for him and being completely happy how it is. Its an on-going battle that's best left to its own post...later.

My mom was still young (20/21) and loved the party life so I grew up with my grandparent's. It wasn't until I was 6 or 7 that she finally was at a point in her life to really raise me and I moved in with her. Don't get the wrong idea though, she was around all the time, she just knew she wasn't ready to raise me the right way. I thank her for this everyday.



When I was a year old I got really sick, really fast. By the time I was taken in and they did a spinal tap I didn't move. Never a good sign. I had contracted spinal meningitis. After a few scary days and another couple weeks in the hospital I was healthy enough to go home. Childhood was pretty normal for me. Nothing big or exciting to report.



I met my husband when I was 17 in an online chatroom...yea I know, I know...big scary internet freaks, but I got lucky :) He was stationed at Camp Lejeune and had just recently returned from his deployment in Japan. We hit it off and talked for hours on the phone. Lets just say that those cell phone bills weren't pretty! lol During my spring break from school I traveled up to NC to finally meet him, face to face. At the end of the week he asked me to marry him and obviously I said Yes! A month later he came to FL and we were married :) I still had a few weeks left in school so I stayed while he went back and set up everything for me to move up there, during this time I found out I was expecting. Two days after graduation we loaded up the rental truck and headed east :) After getting settled in and what not my mommy packed her bags and left me to my new life, in a new town. It was not an easy day for her :(

We spent our 1st year of marriage struggling with infertility and multiple miscarriages. It was not an easy first year but we worked through it and here we are today, getting ready to celebrate 6 years. I'd like to say that our infertility and loss stories ended with the birth of our first daughter but that wouldn't be life...

My name is Hope, I'm a lover,giver,taker,sinner,listener,friend,secret keeper,daughter,sister,
wife, but most of all I am a mother. Though you may not see all my angels know that they are there.

Starting Fresh

After suffering from at least 1 ear infection a month since Sept. princess is seeing a ENT tomorrow and hopefully having tubes put in shortly after. These past few months have been very hectic and stressful. Here's a little run down and maybe you'll understand why I took a mini break

October of last year our ped. talked to us about pediatric adhd for tink. I had done very minimal looking into as everywhere I looked said that they had to be school-aged to be diagnosed. I figured it was something that would have to wait. Thankfully our ped. specializes in pediatric adhd and was a light at the end of our dark tunnel with tink's behavior. We gathered all of the information from him, took it home and read it and decided to just track her behavior at home and pray. At the end of January I took her back in and said I wanted to continue on with the adhd evaluation, we talked and asked questions and left the office with several forms for everyone to fill out, including her teacher's at pre-school. Two weeks later we got the official diagnosis and started her on some meds at very low doses. Here we are about a month later and OMG! My child can actually sit and read or play with her toys. She can focus at pre-school and we have heard her talk more and more. Now...she is 3, almost 4, so life is still tough with her but at least I'm just dealing with normal toddler stuff instead of normal toddler stuff AND uncontrolled impulses. It was a hard decision and one that did not come without negative thoughts from other people. But in the end it was the best decision for her and those who think I'm drugging my child just for my sake obviously weren't around pre-diagnosis. Now all while that was going on we also were in the midst of being evaluated for speech and language programs through the school board. Thankfully we are at the end of our journey and go next week for her final evaluation that will place her in the programs she needs. Just as we were pushing things off our plate and saying 'Thanks, we're stuffed' life scooped up another helping and said 'Here ya go!' Palms meet head and scream! Now it seems as if tink will be having a MRI within the next month or so for a possible closed NTD. Now its something that has to be done...it just stinks that she has to be sedated. She is not a fan of having things on her face and does NOT do well with stranger's :/

I know that this too shall pass....just like any other tough season in my life and I'm thankful that I have my 2 little girls to keep me on my toes. It feels to good to "write" it out. Some days just seems like a blur and I wake up the next day and think 'did that really happen?'
On happier notes the weather is starting to warm up and that means Spring is right around the corner! In fact I've been told that today shorts,a tank top and flip flops are passable :) Oh how I can't wait to be out of this house and do things. But for now its back to spring cleaning....we've got a birthday party and in-laws coming for a visit next month!

I apologize

I apologize for not posting lately. Princess is on again, off again sick. I will be catching up hopefully tomorrow. Be on the look out for Days 14-17 very soon! :)

Project 365-Day 13 Sisterly Love

**UPDATE**
I was unable to upload my video via blogger...it took over an hour and then froze. I will check out other options and get the video up as soon as I can



Original Post


Welcome to Day 13 of my Project 365!



When I found out I was pregnant with princess, tink was very...how shall I put this...um....strong willed and spirited. I prayed so hard that something would happen in her and she would clam down.



When I look back on the way things played out after princess was born I can see the good that came with her staying in the nicu for a month before coming home. I was able to reconnect with tink and it wasn't too soon after I came home that she would ask about the "baby". In fact you couldn't take her anywhere near that hospital without her throwing a royal fit cause she wanted to go see her baby! Thinking back this was the beginning of something beautiful but I was in hormone overdrive and it just sent me over the edge. Hubby would have 2 sobbing fits to calm down...god bless that man! lol So when we got the word that we were in the 7 day stretch to come home I prayed harder and left it in His hands. I am attaching the video of that moment :) That with these picture's from today you can tell my prayers we're answered.





Kisses for sister


Mom she's got me!


My two love bugs

Project 365-Day 12

Welcome to Day 12 of my Project 365!

Santa brought princess a new DVD in her stocking...this picture shows just how much both her and tink LOVE it! lol

As you can see they have torn the living room apart so mommy needed a break! I popped in this music filled DVD and let them go :) After I snapped this picture I got to work cleaning and laundry and cooking....or I blogged some and got caught up in other things on the internet. I'm going with the first option lol ....sounds better :)

*I want to truly apologize for the BORING posts.....we have hit a new record down here for our temps dropping below freezing for over 10 days. With princess being a preemie and still having issue's with respiratory things when the temps get like this we just stay inside as to hopefully avoid RSV. But it suppose to warm up and be towards the 60's soon and we have a day out planned come Thursday....which is great cause we're getting cabin fever! lol

Blogging for some Dave Ramsey books!!!!!

Today I was searching through an online community I'm in and found this giveaway! I am beyond excited and I really hope I win!!!!!!! We have been trying to clean up our debt so that we can save up money to buy a house. We have heard great things about Dave Ramsey and have a few friends that are now living either completely debt free or very close to it.

Please go check this giveaway out and maybe you can win! Just remember me when your done reading the books lol :)

Dave Ramsey Giveaway

Project 365-Day 11 Wish List

Welcome to Day 11 of my Project 365!

Today we got really bored and so I let tink start her birthday wish list on walmart's website. She had so much fun picking out all sorts of stuff. (sorry for the bad quality pic)
What is on that list?....Well Tinkerbell of course! lol *picture courtesy of tinkfanatic.com*

Mostly she is wanting a new bedroom set, complete with a new big girl bed and mattress. I have started planning out the design the girls room. We can't paint but I think I have come up with a solution for that. While we are upgrading tink's side we plan to start with the princess as well... any guesses as to what she's getting? lol Their room will be full of pinks,purples,teals and lime green!

So now we wait...tink has 3 more months before the big day plus mom and dad have to wait for the income tax money to get it started lol

Project 365-Day 10 The Greatest Man I'll Ever Know :)

Welcome to Day 10 of my Project 365! Can you believe I've made it 10 whole days!?!! I promise that as soon as this weather warms up my picture's and stories will get better! But for now it is too dang cold to do much of anything. Plus it seems that this latest round of antibiotics isn't helping the princess so we are staying in and snuggling as much as possible with a trip to the doctors later this coming week.

Every Sunday we spend time with my grandparents, we generally arrive in the early afternoon and stay for supper. Most of the time the hubs helps out my paw-pa with things around the house and I get some time to craft or hang out. This past week they had new flooring put in the kitchen....isn't it pretty?
But do you notice what it looks like?.............rocks! This has both my girls totally amazed! lol Every time they walked by it they bent down to try and pick up the "rocks" lol It was too funny!


So back to the great man I'll ever know....this is my paw-pa with princess and Tinkerbell. Can you see that smirk on his face? He loves these 2 rascals so much!

This is paw-pa and tinker feeding the birds

she's on the other side of him...it was too cold to stand outside and wait for her to get in the pic lol

paw-pa and his tag-a-long...

About 20 years ago I was his shadow and now my girls are taking their rightful place behind him :) If something breaks tinker immediately says "paw-pa fix it?" He can tinker...he can. This man raised me like his own, gave my hubby "that talk", walked me down the aisle at my wedding and sat with me during 2 hard pregnancies in the hospital. He's one in a million and he's all ours!

Project 365-Day 9 Cleaning Up

Welcome to Day 9 of my Project 365!

I had so many goals for today's post but alas its a dud! lol See tonight we had a Stampin Up! party with my friend E as our demonstrator. We always have a blast and tonight both of us had our cameras and not one single picture was taken! So I came home and just snapped 2 picture's and will just go with the flow lol

As some may know or remember, I had major surgery done on my wrist and arm the day before Thanksgiving. Up until a week ago I had been pretty limited on what I could do, after finally removing the last stitch myself I have gained more control and flexibility of my hand...it's great! You would think having a little over a month and a half off would be great but when your hubby is working long shifts the house chores tend to get put to the back burner.....This is my kitchen....it is SCREAMING to be cleaned! and clean it will be come tomorrow. I can stand it no longer....
The living room is an ongoing project as well....I sat a picked up my living room today and "put together" the toy area. The minute I got up Princess decided to tear everything back out again...so I explained to her majesty that unless she hired help Mommy wasn't going to be doing this over and over. I tried showing her how to put it away but as you all know, royalty is SO above that! lol Guess this momma didn't get that memo. Finally I scooped up her heiness and promptly put her royal butt down for a nap and tried again. Only this time Tinkerbell came in and started playing with toys. Honestly she would've put them away but we rushed out of here to get to the party on time and by the time we got home it was way past bedtime so this mess will get picked up by her but she needed her beauty sleep....it takes faeries a lot of energy to be beautiful dont'cha know....lol

I do believe hubby and I have decided that we will be moving the girls into one room next weekend. We are possibly having family visit in a few months and lets face it....my living room needs a break! We plan to use our extra room as a craft/play room and then when family come to town we can put the air mattress in there as well for privacy. Lets pray the girls don't keep each other up at night, any advice is welcomed!

Project 365-Day 8 Squeaky Clean and the Village People (or Person)

Welcome to Day 8 of my Project 365!

We are getting pretty restless in the house with this cold weather so when I suggested a bath both girls were in the bathroom and getting in the tub before I could gather everything up lol Tinkerbell can undress and get in all by herself but of course the Princess isn't quite able too and trying to pull her away from the tub sent her into a fit! She thought I was taking her away from the sacred water lol So they played and laughed and got clean with Daddy sitting by to help. Mommy got 30 mins to clean and pick up without someone coming behind me and tearing it all back out...
After bath time we got them all dried off and in their "warm" PJ's.... then I popped in the Rugrats DVD again. Before I knew it I was being entertained by the new village person lol We laughed and played until it was time for bed. I love these nights...no screaming or running around :)

".....Its fun to stay at the...

Y M
C
A!

Project 365-Day 7 Incoming

Welcome to Day 7 of my Project 365!


Every night daddy does the night routine....hey I've had them ALL day...I enjoy my break lol
big A come and does her nightly routine and heads into her room to wait for daddy, while she waits daddy scoots this one up in his arms and up in the air she goes as she flies down to do her bedtime routine lol I love looking up and seeing this coming at me :)

I love the way that as her lowers her she immediately starts sticking her tongue out and making her "kissy" face lol I could just eat her up! Doesn't she just scream 'Miracle Baby'?

Blogging for Hair Accessories! lol

I am entering Mommy's Cameras 1st Giveaway for my two beauties!!! I really hope I win the $25 gift certificate to Maddie Girl Clips! Please check them both out and enter to win for your chance to win as well! Just remember me if you do LOL j/k...maybe :)

Ok now back to watching Rugrats(thanks to Netflix) and browsing Maddie Girl Clips website and making the girl's wish list! lol

Hope

Project 365-Day 6 Under the Weather.....

Welcome to Day 6 of my Project 365!


Today's post is short, please excuse this horrible picture but its the mood here. Someones still feeling pretty yucky and needs her momma 24/7!

Project 365-Day 5 Noggin' Protectors and Helping a friend out

Welcome to Day 5 of my Project 365!

Holy Cow!!! It is beyond freezing here in Florida!! Ya'll up north might be laughing at us but please remember this is NOT our normal weather...I mean they are talking about snow falling in a few days....SNOW! It will not be the first time...we have a video of me "eating" snow when I was about 18 months old (1986) and then I remember it snowing while I was in elementary school as well...but other than those 2 times, nothing! Now I do know that any "snow" that we get is more slush/sleet but I do plan to bundle my girls up and take them out to play in it...so tonight we came up with some noggin' protectors just in case any icicles fall down off the huge trees surrounding our property LOL
Aren't they precious?......
Do know that I WILL report on any type of snow we get here on this blog with plenty of picture's lol


Today I would also like to help my best friend out as she is just starting her new job. Stacey and I have been friends for 20 years! We have gone though thick and thin and this past year she finally went to school to become a Nail Tech. I am very proud of her and love that I have someone to do my nails that I can have a full conversation with! :) So anyone who is local please come check her out! Her prices are very affordable and she needs the clientele. Here are a few pictures of the over lay she did on my nails today. ( I keep mine VERY short due to dealing with the girls,etc.)

She just started at a very new shop here in town off of Mobile Hwy, behind the new KFC. The name and information of the salon is, Waters of Hadassah Salon and Day Spa 6050 Mobile Hwy

I won't post her contact number here but if you would like her number to talk to her about price's and such please just send me a quick email or leave a comment with a way for me to contact you and I will happily pass it on to you though.

Hope

Project 365-Day 4 Healing and Sisterly Love

Welcome to Day 4 of my Project 365!
I promise my days will get better...today I just didn't have motivation to really do a whole lot. Its way too cold to take the girls anywhere, Adalyn is still not up to par so we just hung out and watched movies all day.

The pain in my right hand started back in 2000/2001 while I was still in high school. Shortly after it started I noticed a rather large "bump" on the side of my wrist. My mother worked for several surgeons at the time so she talked with them about my symptoms and "bump" and they concluded I needed to be seen and possibly have surgery. During my appointment I was told I have a ganglion cyst and it was best to have it removed, so we did. The surgeon told my mom it was one of the worst he had seen and said it had been in there for quite some time. It had wrapped all through my tendons and was very hard for him to get out. After about 3 months we noticed that my pain wasn't getting any better and in fact it was getting worse. Several x-rays were ordered but nothing was wrong. I was sent to another Dr. who was convinced that since I was teenager I had done something wrong and was lying about it to not get in trouble. Over and over he kept going on and one and one that if I didn't "fess up" he couldn't help me. He finally said I had RSD, also known as RSDS or CRPS. He referred me to yet another Dr to help me with Pain Management. We left his office beyond pissed with the way he treated me and the next day my mom wrote up a formal complaint and sent it in. So off to the new Dr I went...he was nice but my "treatment" involved sticking long cotton sticks soaked in some medicine up my nose! He said there was a ganglion of nerves up there that connected with the nerves in my arm and the medicine was suppose to calm the nerves. Lets just say this, the treatment failed to work and I never went back :) So over the years I have had to deal with this pain and it slowly but surely it got worse and I started to lose feeling my fingers. Finally after delivering Adalyn I decided I needed to find someone to help me, by this point I had no feeling in my fingers and almost no feeling left in my hand. I was dropping things left and right and was losing sleep over the pain. Long story short I was finally referred to my new surgeon and for the first time he listened to me and knew it was serious. After a short test done in his office he determined that I indeed had carpal tunnel but he was worried that the nerves were being compressed further up by my elbow and possibly by my neck. After another test was done he determined we needed to do surgery and do it quickly. So the day before Thanksgiving we checked in at the hospital for my surgery. Once he opened my arm up he found 6 nerves completely compressed! No wonder I had no feeling.... So here's to you rude bow-tie wearing Dr who thought I was lying!!!! Had you paid enough attention to my symptoms and gotten off your high horse you would have clearly seen that I had carpal tunnel and I wouldn't have these nasty scars and another surgery to go through in the next few months!!!
So here are my scars almost completely healed...there is still another major nerve that seems to be compressed that will more than likely have to be operated on. Its a tough surgery so I'll have to wait a few months before we go ahead with it.
*** If you are easily grossed out over scars please just scroll down***





While I was pregnant with Adalyn I worried A LOT about how Abby would react with a new baby in the house. She had been the only child for almost 3 years and she is very "spirited" to say the least! Amazingly though, it seems the day we brought Adalyn home from the NICU she instantly loved her and calmed down so much! It was the complete opposite of what everyone thought would happen. So I figured I was in for it once Addie started becoming more independent. Abby has her moments with Addie but over all Abby loves Addie and often will tell you that its HER baby lol So with Adalyn not feeling good she has become "momma". So when Adalyn grabbed her comfort blanket and layed down this afternoon due to her having a sickly moment, and eventually passing out right there on the living room floor, I knew Momma Abby would take over so I grabbed my camera just in case lol
This is Abby "feeling" Adalyn's head to see if she's warm...

While down in her face she noticed she was asleep so kisses were in order, she then patted her back and loved on her for a good 5 minutes.


Abby warms my heart when she acts like this :) She can just drive me and her daddy (really anyone who has to watch her for long periods of time lol) to near insanity on any given day with her behavior but these little acts show us there's more in her than her horrible behavior.

I have a feeling these two little girls will grow up and be very close. They will of course have moments but I look forward to watching this sisterly love grow and mature. Hopefully they will accept a new sibling ,when the time is right, with the same love they have for each other :)

Project 365-Day 3 Doctors orders and letting go

Welcome to Day 3 of my Project 365!

Just yesterday I had to take little a to the Dr's. She was running a fever, screaming in pain, totally not the little girl we knew and had developed a rash on Friday. I already had a feeling she had another round of ear infections and so when the ped. looked in her ears and gasped I knew. She said they were BAD! So between her and Dr. mom the order's are:
A little bit of this....twice a day...
As much of this as she needs.....

and A LOT of this!

We go back in about 2 weeks to check and see how her ears look. If they aren't looking better than we will probably be heading to see an ENT and talking about our options. She is doing a little better, she isn't 100% and just wants to sleep but we have heard plenty of giggles and seen her one-tooth grin a little more today.

Today we also took down our little Christmas set-up. We packed up our little train set, took the ornaments and star off the tree and packed it up. All the was left were these 5 little stockings.... Slowly but surely I took them down and placed them in the box and pulled the tab to release the hook. One by one they went until I got to that little blue stocking in the middle...I just couldn't do it. This past December marked our 2 year angelversary and it was a lot harder than I thought it would be! :( I felt as if taking that little blue stocking down was like putting him away.

I have nothing of him...and how I yearn to hold him, feel him, having something of him...but all I have are my tears and a unfixable broken heart. So here I am, 2 years later still trying to figure out how to navigate this path, learning to lean on my God a God who saw it fit to take my son and change my life.

Hi,my name is Hope. I lost my son Zach 2 years and 29 days ago and I'm still learning how to let go....

Project 365-Day 2 Race Cars and Fairies

Welcome to Day 2 of my Project 365!

Today we have yet another "toy" for Greg. lol I found this racing wheel at Big Lots for $8. It comes with a stand so you can suction it down to a table and I guess act like your really driving lol He was pretty excited :) He was,however, not as excited when I took a picture of him lol



I also decided to try my luck at Walmart in the Christmas clearance section. When they started bringing out the Christmas stuff I noticed a little section of Tinkerbell stuff. I found these cute picture frames and boxes that I could use as party favors for Abby's nearing birthday. But at $3 each there was no way I could justify it. Imagine my surprise when I walked down that isle to find the right amount I needed left! So I scooped them up and for .75 each I made out! I also grabbed a few mini note pads and pencils (not shown) that were more winter-ish than Christmas. I hope these girlie's love these just as much as I do! Now I need to find something for the tough dudes coming...

Project 365- Day 1 Christmas aftermath and Beware! Attack Dino on grounds

Welcome to Day 1 of my Project 365. Hope you enjoy :)




This is the aftermath of Christmas for 2 special little girls lol I can't wait to get both their rooms moved around so that I can get it out of my living room! :)





This is my hubby's "have to get it" toy, D-Rex. He only comes out around the holidays and his usual price tag read $150...BUT I just happened to come across this lonely guy on a shelf yesterday with a red clearance tag of $50! So I told him it was his early birthday gift lol Adalyn LOVES it! Abigail is coming around more and more but if he "attacks" when she isn't expecting it it freaks her out lol

Welcome

Welcome to my new blog! My name is Hope and I am a daughter,wife, mother, sister, best friend, NICU veteran and angel mommy. You'll never know what to expect when you read this blog lol

I have been married to Greg for 6 years this April. Together we have 2 living daughters, Abigail and Adalyn. Sometimes referred to as Tinkerbell (tink) and Princess. We also have a son,Zachary-Bryan, who was taken too soon to heaven December 5th 2007 during my 18th week of pregnancy. I am a SAHM but also own a small jewelry business, Jewels of Hope. The business was started to help raise awareness of pregnancy and infant loss and to also raise funds to start a local support group.

Another purpose of this blog is to have a platform for my Project 365. A friend of mine introduced the idea to me and I can't wait to get started! The idea is to take at least ONE picture each day of the year and post them. It will be amazing to see how our life changes within this next year. I hope you join in on the fun and you enjoy this blog! I look forward to getting to know everyone who reads this blog :)

Hope