Just yesterday I had to take little a to the Dr's. She was running a fever, screaming in pain, totally not the little girl we knew and had developed a rash on Friday. I already had a feeling she had another round of ear infections and so when the ped. looked in her ears and gasped I knew. She said they were BAD! So between her and Dr. mom the order's are:
A little bit of this....twice a day...
As much of this as she needs.....
and A LOT of this!
We go back in about 2 weeks to check and see how her ears look. If they aren't looking better than we will probably be heading to see an ENT and talking about our options. She is doing a little better, she isn't 100% and just wants to sleep but we have heard plenty of giggles and seen her one-tooth grin a little more today.Today we also took down our little Christmas set-up. We packed up our little train set, took the ornaments and star off the tree and packed it up. All the was left were these 5 little stockings....
Slowly but surely I took them down and placed them in the box and pulled the tab to release the hook. One by one they went until I got to that little blue stocking in the middle...I just couldn't do it. This past December marked our 2 year angelversary and it was a lot harder than I thought it would be! :( I felt as if taking that little blue stocking down was like putting him away.
Slowly but surely I took them down and placed them in the box and pulled the tab to release the hook. One by one they went until I got to that little blue stocking in the middle...I just couldn't do it. This past December marked our 2 year angelversary and it was a lot harder than I thought it would be! :( I felt as if taking that little blue stocking down was like putting him away. I have nothing of him...and how I yearn to hold him, feel him, having something of him...but all I have are my tears and a unfixable broken heart. So here I am, 2 years later still trying to figure out how to navigate this path, learning to lean on my God a God who saw it fit to take my son and change my life.
Hi,my name is Hope. I lost my son Zach 2 years and 29 days ago and I'm still learning how to let go....
It's okay to still want to hold on.... but remember..while you are trying to hold onto him, the girls are growing bigger so don't lose sight of them along the way ...... He'll always be with you, wether there is a blue stocking on the wall, or just a niggle of thought in the back of your mind as you do some mundane household task... he's there... he's in Abbys loving way, he's in Addys smile, he's in Gregs breath, he's in your voice... he's there... he is watching all of you.... he knows the love of his family even if he can't be there with you.....
ReplyDeleteLOTS of love and hugs girl.....
You never have to let go... you just have to keep going..... ... ..